First off let me give you a little background:
My mom has been staying with me (she is an alcoholic). She got out of rehab a couple months ago and I told her she could stay with me to get back up on her feet. I told her the only rule she had was to not drink. I don't want it around my kids and I don't want to deal with the stress. I know some alcoholics are okay but my mom she is the type that when she drinks she just mumbles under her breath and makes snide remarks and talks about how bad her life is and has been and just goes into major depressed mode. She can also turn very mean. So anyways I didn't want her to drink staying in my house. Well when she came and stayed with us she agreed that she would stay sober. She ended up going and getting a job (awesome!). And you know what she did, she started drinking. At first it started as she wanted 1 beer for her birthday. I didn't want her too but I wasn't going to argue, what was one beer. I told her I prefer she didn't but she did and I was with her the whole time and once we got home she had that one beer. OK things were great. Until she went and tried to bounce a check at the store next to my house to get another one. That was when I put my foot down and was like OK no now you are trying to take advantage of it. So she got a little upset but it was like whatever. Now we have had a couple beers in the fridge for WEEKS. We offered to get rid of them for her if it bothered her being in there, she said it didn't so they just sat in there. Well one night when I was at work I got a text from Mike (my fiance). Apparently while my mom was coloring with Damien at the kitchen table she wanted to put one of the beers in a Pepsi fountain drink cup she had. WHAT!!! First off you know I don't want you drinking in my house and now you want to drink while you are coloring with my son! NO! So mike told her no and that was that. Well everything was good she ended up getting a job and I told her to please not to start sneaking booze now that she had a job. She swore up and down she wouldn't and to have faith in her. It was kind of hard to have faith when she did what she did previously. So she goes into town for her orientation. she comes back later on that night drunk. I don't mean a little buzzed I mean DRUNK! She apparently had borrowed money from someone and went and got alcohol. So her and I end up fighting. I tell her you now what I am done I am not doing this anymore I don't need the stress I am pregnant I don't want my son around it. Damien ends up crying because he hears us fighting, so Mike takes him for a walk and explains the best he can that my mom is sick and its not his fault and all that. So she ends up going to bed and promises it won't happen again. Stupidly I believe it. Time goes by and things are great again. Then one day she gets home from work and she is fine. As the morning goes on I notice that she is starting to act like she has been drinking, so I call her out on it. Of course she denies it. Well she was storing her stuff in Damiens room and I hear her in his dresser (she kept some of her clothes in there) and when I went to walk back there she closed the drawer real quick. So when she went outside to smoke a cig I went and opened the drawer and what do I find, a bottle of vodka! IN MY SONS DRESSER! I was irate I dumped it and tore her apart! That was my final breaking point. But we let her stay because we needed her help with me going on maternity leave soon and what not. Again I made it clear that that was not OK, if my son had drank that thinking it was water it would have killed him. So again she stay sober for about a week and then the day of the couponing trip was when I had finally had enough. I meet her in town and went shopping and she went to walmart to get her prescription. When I meet back up with her she was already drunk. This was at 9:30 in the morning. We got home and I confronted her again and was like come on are you kidding me. I have told you if you don't stop I am going to kick you out and cut you out of my life. My son had even asked her to stop. It turned into an all day argument. It all turned out to be my fault of course because "no matter what she does it is never going to be good enough for me" (her words). She said she didn't get what the problem was and no matter how many times I told her it was her drinking she just didn't seem to get it. So I had to make a hard decision and I told her it was time for her to go.
I don't know where she is staying or whether she is still working. I do care and I do love her she is my mom but I can't continue to be stressed out and I don't want my children to bear witness to what I had to grow up with. I am trying to break the cycle of abuse and chaos that has plagued my moms side of the family for years. And I can't do that with her poisoning my life. Some people may say I am cruel and that what I am doing is wrong but you know what, I know what I am doing is for the best. What I wrote up there is just a small portion of all the chances I gave her, there was a couple more times she drank and there was one time where when we went to get the rest of her stuff from her old apartment her ex tried to choke me. But that is another story for another time.
Any-who so after she left we continued on with life. I celebrated hitting 24 weeks of pregnancy!
Yesterday I wanted to go food shopping because it was Mikes day off. (also I have a TON of coupons I want to use for this trip) but you know what, I live in NH and mother nature had to come snow on our parade!
Ugh, I hate snow. So we had a day in the house relaxing. I played scrabble with Damien and he almost whooped my butt....almost! It was a good day. Then I decided to make something new for dinner. I made lasagna. It was my first time doing it on my own, it came out looking good but I think it was missing something. I am not sure what though. Mike said it would have been good if I put pepperoni in it. (I need to remember that next time!)
