An Open Letter to the Woman I Never Expected to Become My BFF

Friend,
To be honest when I first met you I thought you were a b***h, and you thought I was snooty. To look back at that now it is quite funny. As we got to know each other we became closer and closer. And now I am proud to call you not only my best friend but my sister. There are so many things about you that make me love you. You are so kind and so strong it amazes me. You would do anything to make the people that you love happy. You are selfless and caring. You have done more for me in the last year than a lot of people have done in my entire life. I wouldn't have the position in my job now if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't have a level head in certain situations if it wasn't for you. I would prob be in a deep depression if it wasn't for you. THANK YOU.
The reason I am writing this is because a lot of unfortunate stuff has been thrown your way lately and it seems like you can't catch a break. I want you to know that if anyone can handle all the stuff, it is you. I know there are times where it may not seem like you can but I have seen you be knocked down a few times and every single time you stand up, brush yourself off and keep on trucking. Your strength is one of the things I admire about you the most. You are the type of person who can be smiling on the outside, but inside you are falling apart. You are raising your daughter on your own while working full time and paying your bills. That takes guts!
I also want to say thank you. Thank you for accepting me for the a-hole I am. Thank you for letting me vent to you and not judging me. Thank you for keeping all your promises you have made to me. I have always been afraid to get close to people due to them eventually walking out of my life. With you I don't have that fear. I know that I can be open and honest with you about ANYTHING and you will accept it even if you don't agree. Thank you for being the sister I never expected to gain.
Our best friendship may be fairly new but I feel like we have been best friends for what seems like forever. If I didn't have you in my life IDK what I would do. You have pulled me out of slumps that I could never pull myself out of. You have given me unbiased opinions on things that i have needed true opinions on. You truly are my best friend and I would be lost without you. So you are stuck with me for life, whether you like it or not.
I LOVE YOU FWEND!

New Years Resolutions?

Yes I know, the dreaded resolution. The promise everyone makes to change. The one promise that nobody ever sticks to for longer than MAYBE a month. Honestly I can see why!  Do people really think they are going to go to bed and magically wake up the next morning being a new person just because it's a new year?  Some people may stick to them but the majority of people don't.  Personally I have never stuck to any, but I know why.  It's because I make unrealistic resolutions. Unrealistic to me anyways. I've done em all from eat better to budget my money better.  New year new me?  HA!  Not this girl.
With that being said I am no longer going to make a resolution and go to bed expecting to wake up a new person. I am going to make resolutions that I know I can stick to.  This year my resolution is to try to be a better wife and mother.  See that word I put in there... TRY!  That way if I get off track I can pick myself up and keep trying.  I am not promising to be a better wife and mother. I am promising to try my hardest.
Those of you who know me may be thinking "Dawnielle, you already are a good wife and mother." And that may be true, but I know I'm not the best I could be.  Lately I have taken advantage of my husband, a man that has accepted and loved me and my children knowing we are very flawed. When I first started dating him I did everything I could to come off as the perfect woman.  I catered to him, cleaned his house while he was at work and went above and beyond to make him happy.  As thing's got comfortable though I started slacking.  I let the house go for longer than appropriate, let myself go and stopped going above and beyond. So I am going to try to be the girl I was when we started dating 5 years ago.  I am going to push myself to appreciate everything he does for us just as he appreciates what I do manage to get done. I am going to do things that I should do as a wife instead of just doing it occasionally. I have a man who works full time and cleans the house... Yes.... A man that CLEANS! I need to start doing my part.
As far as being a better mother,  yes I love my kids unconditionaly and I would be lost without them.  As most of you know I did lose them in a nasty custody battle with my ex.  I missed one yr of my sons life and 2.5 years of my daughters life. When they were gone I wished I played with them more and hugged them more.  When they came back I did do just that.. For a short while. Then I fell into my old habits, I let the electronics and tv entertain them more than I should. I shoo them away more than I should using excuses like 'I'm tired' or 'I'm busy'. Truth be told half the time I'm not busy, tired yes but that's a norm for me.  I need to remember they aren't going to be little forever. My son will be 18 in a little over 6 years. And he will be more interested in spending time with his friends than with me much sooner than that.  I need to remember what it was like when I didn't have them. So I am going to try to spend more time with them and get on the floor and play with them more. For Christmas I actually got a couple board games we can play together.  I need to try to be more patient and understanding. I need to remember that both my oldest kids suffer from social/emotional disabilities, and it's a daily struggle for them as well.
So that is my resolution for 2017, I am not going to promise to magically change overnight. And I'd be lying if I said I am not going to slip up and revert back to my bad habits.  But I am going to try my hardest not to.  And if I do I'll just brush myself off and try again!
So do you have a resolution yet?  Leave a comment and let me know.  And don't forget to subscribe.

Pre winter De-clutter: what I do every year to prepare for the wretched cold.

So today is the day. The day where I go through all my closets and bureaus to get rid of all that old junk. I switch out the summer clothes for the winter clothes and get rid of things I forgot I even had. It is almost like spring cleaning only in the winter. I do more before winter than I do before spring though. Why? Because in the winter I don't do much. I only leave the house if I HAVE to for work or kids stuff. I hate the cold and I hate the snow. And this year, it is supposed to be a brutal winter. Over the summer we have collected so many things whether it be from yard sales or free piles. Some of that stuff I use, some of it not so much. First things firs I go through the stuff I can access easily, like clothes that are in the bureaus already and toys that are in the toy box. If they are summer clothes I pack them in a box, unless I know they wont fit the kids next summer then I donate them. Toys that I havent seen the kids play with in forever get donated. After all that is said and done I go into the closets...oh god the closets, those are scary places. Things have just been piled in there all year. When I first open them it is very overwhelming and I dont know where to start. So I start at the top and just start pulling everything out. After it is all pulled out I go through each box and bag and decide whether it is kept, trash, or donate. This process alone takes some time. I have a tendency to be attached to stupid things that I never use. So I sit there and ask myself "when was the last time you actually used this?" and if it has been a while, I get rid of it. After all the sorting I take the things from summer and pack them in the bottom of the closet and put the things I don't need out but do use at the top. NEATLY! Now this is an all day project so I decide to do it on one of my days off. I have a family of 5 so we have A TON of stuff. So here's to a day of de-clutter! What do you do to prepare for winter?

Mommy Wars-The controversial topic of 'Proper Parenting'.

So earlier today I was scrolling through social media. I come across this post my friend shared, and my mind starts going.. In the post she talks about how parenting today isn't easy and how easy it must have been back in the 70's and 80's. And how back then there was no guidelines to follow to be the "perfect mom". This made me really think about how it really is today to be a parent and how hard it REALLY is. Now I am not talking about raising the kids and what goes into that, with the fighting of siblings or the doctors appointments, sports, field trips, arguing and you know the every day stress. I am talking about the stress coming from the outside.

https://www.facebook.com/BunmiKLaditan/photos/a.1397535887160070.1073741827.1375076236072702/1772989559614699/?type=3&theater

We live in a society where no matter what you do you will NEVER be the perfect mom!! Why? Because almost everybody thinks someone else is doing it wrong. If you breastfeed there are going to be people who think it is wrong, or those that if they agree with it, they believe you shouldn't do it in public. Ok so to make it easier you decide to formula feed...problem solved right? WRONG! No because now you have people who think you don't care about your baby enough to give them the nutrients your body was made to provide. So either way you are screwed. The same can be said for many things, like vaccinations, circumcision, free range vs attachment parenting (yes those are real things) . Even food, are you an all organic family or do you eat processed foods? Like really!? YOU CANT EVEN FEED YOUR KIDS WITHOUT BEING JUDGED!

There are children out there starving daily and we are worried about arguing about what we feed our kids!? Or how we feed our kids? Thankfully there are a decent sized group of people who have the same mindset I do, "Who...f***ing...cares!" Does the child eat sufficiently? If so then who cares how they are fed!? Is the child clean..well as clean as a child can be anyways?  Does the child have clean clothes and a warm place to sleep at night? Is the child physically/emotionally abused? If the only question you answered no to, was the last one. THEN WHO CARES!? Who cares if they are formula or bottle fed, who cares if they got vaccinated or not? Who cares if he was circumcised or not? Who cares if you let your kids be more independent and let them be free to learn and explore, or if you decide to be at there every beck and call.

Do what works for YOUR family! No 2 people are the same and no 2 people are going to be able to live the same. As long as your child is happy and healthy that is all that matters. If you want to grow your own food in your backyard, awesome! You make a lot of things that come in a can or box, sweet! You let your kids moods and wants somewhat dictate the schedule for that day, cool! You decide to stick to a strict schedule and have things done at a certain time and a certain way daily, right on!...Just stop all the judging and the nonsense. Us moms have enough stress with all the normal kid stuff without having to be judged or worry about if we are doing it right? Wanna hear something funny. Not a single one of us is doing it right! Every single mom is learning daily. Hell, my oldest is 11 and I STILL learn things daily. But when it comes to my parenting I do what I do with my children because it is what works for US. It may not work for you but that is okay!

What are your thoughts?

Being an introvert in an extroverts world

I am what you call an introvert. I prefer staying home to going out. I don't do well with large crowds, or even small crowds if it is people I don't know. I would rather text or email than call someone. And when I have to call someone I pray they don't pick up so I can just leave a voicemail. On top of being an introvert I suffer from social anxiety. I work with the public, I have to face people and talk to them on a daily basis. I am a shift leader so I not only have to serve customers but I have to deal with customer complaints. Also outside of work I have 3 children so I have to go to school meetings, and doctor appointments. I constantly feel as tho I am being judged. It isn't fun. It takes me 30 minutes in the morning just to do my makeup. It has to be perfect because any imperfection I see I think someone who doesn't know me will see it 100 times worse.

Some people see me as shy, some see me as stuck up, the people who really know me..they see me as wild and funny. I am not stuck up. I am not shy. I am actually a very kind, loving and giving person. When people get to know me and I come out of my shell they will see I will give the shirt off my back for those I care about. They will see that I love to make people laugh and I love to be goofy. A lot of introverts get judged as either stuck up or shy. When in fact that is NOT the case at all. We just like us time. Best believe we will be the best friends you could ever ask for. We are loyal, and caring and we are very good secret keepers (because we don't talk to many people).

What exactly goes on in an introverts mind? I can't speak for all, but I can speak for myself. And the answer is, A LOT actually. Every look someone gives you are questioning it. Every statement someone makes you are over analyzing. You are constantly studying and listening to what is going on around you, while on the outside you look like you aren't even paying attention. You may come up with some lame excuse as to why you don't want to go hang out at a party, just so you don't have to face new people. Don't get me wrong I LOVE to have a good time and hang out with my friends. I love to laugh and be loud and goofy, but only in places I am comfortable.

If you meet someone who is an introvert don't judge them. Give them their space, after a bit maybe even try to spark a conversation, when they are ready they will warm up to you. Being an introvert in an extroverts world is not an easy task. So those of you who aren't, please try to make it a little easier for us.

Before you go to Dunkin read this.

Working at Dunkin Donuts I have realized that some people don't know a few things. So I would like to clear a few things up. This will make not only our job easier but will make your next Dunkin stop smoother.
1.Drive Thru is on a timer: That's right, we are on a timer. From the time you hit the speaker till you drive away with your stuff you are being timed. Most places the goal is 120 seconds or 2 mins. That being said if you come through and you order 10 coffees and 5 sandwiches. That will put a big dent in our timer and will mess up our average. So please if you have a big order come inside. OR you can use the new mobile app where you order on your phone and when you get to the store it is already ready and waiting for you!
2.When we hear "regular" we assume you mean regular cream and sugar: If you come in and say "i want a medium regular coffee" we will already have typed in "Med hot, reg cream and sugar" Again we are on a time so we are typing in orders fast. Regular cream and sugar are as follows..Small-2&2 Med-3&3 Large-4&4. So if you come through and say "I would like a med regular..(pause)..with 5 creams and 3 sugars, french vanilla with less ice" during your pause we have already typed in med reg cream and sugar. So when you have finished then we have to delete the whole thing and then retype in a med ICE coffee with the amount of cream and sugar you requested. That brings me to my next point.
3.There IS a proper way to order your coffee: No, I am not talking about how you want it, you can order it however you want. I am talking about the order of how you want it. It is as follows...Size, hot/iced/coldbrew, flavor (if any), and finally what you want for cream or sugar. So for example "I would like a med, iced coffee, french vanilla with cream and sugar" (if you don't specify the amount of cream and sugar we will put in the normal amount)
4. We don't have a line or 3-4 people making sandwiches: If you order 5 sandwiches, it is going to take a min or 2 for them to be made. There is only one person over there and most of the time they are making orders for both drive-thru and walk in orders. So please be patient.
5.We dont do half sugars/creams: Cream and sugar are dispensed out of a machine. They are in whole numbers. So if you want a coffee with 3 and a half sugars, chances are you will get 3 sugars or 4. If you really want a half a sugar just ask for an extra packet and put it in when you get it.
6.EVERYTHING is toasted unless otherwise requested: So if you want a bagel it will get toasted, a sandwich? yep that is toasted too. So you don't have to say "can I get a ham egg and cheese on a plain bagel toasted"
7.We don't melt the sugar unless requested: I can't tell you how many times someone has ordered a coffee and said "dont melt my sugar" or "how come the sugar isnt melted". If you want it melted you have to ask us to. If you dont want it melted just say how much sugar you want in it we wont melt it.
8. We have NO control over the DDPerks app: If your coffee wasnt the "sale price". I am sorry. I have no control over that. If it was supposed to be a certain price and it wasnt you have to contact the DDPerks people and take it up with them.
9. Dunkin is a franchise: All prices are different, all rules are different, not all Dunkins have the same thing. It is up to the franchise owner. Also if you bring me a coffee that a Dunkin messed up that wasnt part of our franchise. We will not make it free of charge. We will happily sell you a new one. Now if you bring us a coffee one of our stores did mess up then we will happily remake it free of charge for you.
11. We do not have flavored coffee: All our coffee is brewed as regular coffee. If you order a flavored coffee we add the flavor to it whether it be a swirl or a shot. A swirl is a sweetened syrup. A shot is an unsweetened zero calorie liquid.
12.We have 4 choices as to what we can put in your coffee: Cream, whole milk, skim milk, and almond milk. That's it!
13. Lastly, We do not control the prices: When you tear apart an employee because the coffee you got yesterday was 50 cents cheaper at a different dunkin like they PERSONALLY made the prices. You are yelling at the wrong person. Like I said previously everything is up to the franchise owner. We as employees are people too, we have stress and problems in our daily lives just like you. We are just trying to pay our bills the same way you do.
I hope this helps clear up a few things. There is a ton of other things I could mention but these are the things that occur DAILY. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!